Distance and Dissonance
by heavy.sighs.and.sad.goodbyes
Summary: It's hard sticking around when the person you love obviously doesn't feel as strong about you. Emmett.Rosalie.
1. Chapter 1

_Distance and Dissonance_

Summary: _It's hard sticking around when the person you love obviously doesn't feel as strong about you. ._

* * *

He stared at her as she held that child. The little thing that had almost killed his new sister-in-law. He loved that thing, of course, but not really. Only because Rose loved it so much. Correction: He had loved his niece Nessie for the first week of her life. And then things started to go downhill again.

Emmett McCarty-Cullen may be a little on the dim side, and might not have the book smarts that the rest of his family did, but he had confidence. He was sure of himself. And he was sure that he was making the right choice.

He had watched Rosalie baby it for weeks, even when it wasn't a baby anymore. He watched her play dress up with it and feed it and coo to it. But the most horrifying part? Watching Rosalie act like it was actually hers. Because it wasn't, obviously. It was Bella's and Edward's. It would never be Rose's. Ever.

And that's what brought on the epiphany that maybe Rosalie wasn't the angel he always thought her out to be. Maybe she was greedy and selfish. Maybe she really did think that she was better than everyone at school or even in their own home. Maybe she really _was_ a bitch. Maybe she had always been that way. And maybe karma had finally caught up to her that fateful night when her whole world fell apart.

He had told himself earlier that day that he didn't particularly enjoy the new Rosalie, but that's what brought all this on. Maybe this wasn't a new Rosalie. Maybe this was the Rosalie she had always been. Maybe he just hadn't seen it. Maybe he had just been too blinded by beauty and grace and love to even care. Blind just like one of those dogs. Blind like Jacob.

Letting out a breath, he shoved another article that held sentimental value into his large backpack. He could feel his heart pounding. Hurting. He never thought Rose would disappoint him, much less break his heart. But she was. Oh, she was.

Just then she walked into the room, a gentle giggle on her lips. She closed the door behind her and walked up behind him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder blade through his shirt. "Hey."

Emmett paused for a moment as his heart lurched one more time, then broke a little more. She wasn't giddy because she was walking into a room that he occupied anymore. She was giddy because of that thing. He grunted in reply and shoved a sweater into the bag. He didn't need it, obviously, as he never got cold, but Esme had made it for him, and he loved it more than any other thing he had ever worn.

"What are you doing?" Rosalie mumbled, her cheek pressed against his back, finally realizing that he was in the middle of doing something.

"Packing," he stated simply. This caught Rose's attention.

"Why? Do we plan on going somewhere? Can we take a rain check? I don't want to miss a minute of Nessie's childhood. Besides, it's not like we're in any hurry anyway. We have forever, remember?" She leaned against the bed post and smiled at him before letting herself fall to the bed with a carefree giggle.

Emmett gulped. This was it. No turning back now. He had rehearsed this in his head a thousand times, made up a thousand scenarios, and Edward didn't even know. He had been too busy spending time with Bella and Nessie; being the big old happy family they were obviously meant to be. With Rose as the nanny.

"That's all right. You don't have to go. Nobody invited you anyway." He relished the silence that fell over the entire house. He crossed the room and grabbed a few more things before putting them into his bag.

Rosalie sat on the bed, stunned. Emmett's voice hadn't been cold or even cruel. It had been indifferent; nonchalant. As if he hadn't just told his wife he was going on some sort of spur-of-the-moment trip he hadn't told her about.

"Well, where are you going?" she asked, annoyance edging her tone. Emmett shrugged, knowing that everybody downstairs was listening. Because for the first time in 72 years, he had said something that was surprising and out of character. Just when you think you know someone…

"Won't know till I get there, I guess."

Rosalie searched her mind for the right question, but all that came out was, "Why?"

He took a moment to think, even though he already knew what he was going to say. "Because. Edward did it whenever he was crabby. He did it when his love life wasn't working out so well. Why can't I?"

Rosalie gasped. "Not working out so well? Not working out so well! Seven marriages is the surefire sign of working enormously, Emmett. What on earth are you talking about?"

Emmett sighed at his wife's dramatic tone. "I just have some re-evaluating to do." When she looked at him with the same astounded expression as he had pictured in a few of the scenarios, he grinned. This was going to his liking. "I never knew what it was like to be a nomad. I want to explore that a little bit…"

"That's because you have a _family_ that loves you and needs you right where you are!" Rosalie screeched. Emmett continued as if she had never said anything.

"And I want to live simply for a while. Savagely, even. Like our kind is supposed to." He glanced over at her. Her lips were pursed. She was angry now. Good. One last fight to stay on her conscious. "Without all these luxuries. I need to get back to my roots. The way I was before I became a vampire. You know how I was raised, and it wasn't like this. I've been thinking about what my parents would say if they saw me now. They'd say something like, 'Emmett, we're glad that you're finally better off than you were when we were scraping pennies back in the day, but you're spending it so foolishly on things that don't matter. It's such a waste.' Of course, it's not like we really need to save, which is what they'd tell me to do next, but still."

He folded another shirt. "And to be honest, we're vampires. All we need is blood. Nothing else really matters. So, this is what I'm going to do, whether you like it or not. I'm going on an expedition to find myself, since I lost myself along the way." He turned to her. "I feel like Julia Roberts in _Eat, Pray, Love_. Or that woman from _Julie & Julia_. My life has turned into a chick flick."

With that, he folded one last shirt and put it in his bag. He turned to her again and really looked at her this time. She looked angry. This is how all the scenarios had gone. All but one. That one scenario had been his last hope; his dying wish, of sorts. The one where she didn't look at him like she was angry, but looked at him with the same adoration and love that he had showered her with every day up to this point. He might have reconsidered if she had done that. But this sealed it. She was just going to start a fight now, and he was going to realize just how selfish she could be; trying to force him to stay when he just wanted to go.

"Emmett, what are you thinking? That's a bunch of nonsense! I mean, you belong here with me and Carlisle and Esme…Carlisle and Esme! They'll be so upset, Emmett! Do you want to break their hearts? I mean, sure, Edward went on his little adventures, but Carlisle and Esme were hurting every second he wasn't here! You saw it with your own two eyes! Do you want that for them? What about Jasper and Alice and Bella? Bella! She was just turned. You were so looking forward to when she'd be a vampire like us! And Edward will miss you so much! You're his favorite, you know that! And what about me and Nessie, huh? What about us? You're just going to leave us behind?" Emmett let out a cold, hard laugh. "What's funny about that?"

He shook his head. "It's just humorous how you lump Nessie into a category with you." When she looked at him questioningly, he continued. "She's not yours, Rose. She's not ours. She belongs in a category with Bella and Edward. You make it sound like I'm leaving my wife and my child! Well you know what? I'm not. Because we don't have a child Rosalie. And we won't. And seeing how you've acted with Nessie these past few weeks has made me realize how grateful I am that we can't have children, because if we could, I would already be long gone, because you'd favor them over me, just like you're doing with Nessie right now!"

He had long anticipated the next step: The hurt look on Rosalie's face at the mention of her ability to not get pregnant. She hung her head and sobbed silently. Emmett just stared at her. And he decided to go a step further. To say what he needed to say and get it all out.

"The worst part? I don't even feel bad for saying that. I thought I would, but I don't. Not at all." She looked at him with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen. Yet he felt no guilt. "It's time to wake up and stop pretending. She's growing up already. Bella _lived_, and you aren't Nessie's mother. She's not a God-sent miracle, Rose! She's not something pretty you just bought at a store! She's a child! And she's not yours to keep."

The silence was earth-shattering. And Rosalie just stared at him. After minutes of that ear-piercing silence, she asked the question. The last step in his plan.

"How long will you be gone?" she didn't look at him as she asked it. She stared at his backpack, willing him to stay. He decided to answer delicately this time; to stop being so cruel to her. It's not her fault that she didn't love him as much as he loved her.

"I don't know. I could be back tomorrow, but I doubt it. Too many things to think about for only a day. Maybe a week, a month, a year, who knows." He paused, considering to add "Maybe never" to the list, but deciding against it. He continued. "However long it takes me to fall in love with you again."

"Shouldn't you be around me to fall in love with me?" Her tone was no longer sad. It was scornful. It made him positive that leaving was the best thing for him. She stared at him with eyes of fire, daring him to retort.

"Well, I guess it could go either way. Absence could make the heart grow fonder. Or it could be out of sight, out of mind. We won't know till I try it."

Rosalie's jaw slacked at the last one. Forget? How could he forget 70 years of happiness?

As he turned for the door, she reached for him. "So what? So I like thinking that I have a child. You're really that selfish to deny me that after everything I've given you?"

"_I'm _selfish? Oh, that's rich, Rose. No, really, that's a good one. I'm not the one that turned my husband into a vampire because he looked like the child your best friend had; the one you wanted so badly but could never have. _That's _selfish. Forcing someone to live forever because you want them to is selfish, Rosalie."

Rosalie had nothing to say to that. Emmett grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He paused in the doorway for a second, and looked over his shoulder at her.

"It's hard sticking around when the person you love obviously doesn't feel as strong about you. I'd die for you, Rose, and I know that you'd trade me to be human in a second. You'd trade me for a baby of your own. Well, I'm not yours to trade. Not anymore."

With that, he headed for the stairs.

And Rosalie didn't follow him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Distance and Dissonance_

Summary: _It's hard sticking around when the person you love obviously doesn't feel as strong about you. _

* * *

He stood on the last stair and looked at his family. They looked back. His eyes scanned over all of them. But then his eyes landed on the target. Nessie stared at him and his bag as she sat in Jacob's lap. Emmett clenched a fist, but let it go. He didn't want to hate Nessie. But how could he love the thing that had torn his marriage apart?

He stepped toward all of them, trying not to think. He didn't like Nessie, but he hated leaving Edward. He hated that Edward had to hear his thoughts. Had to hear how much he loathed Nessie right now.

Esme was in front of him in a flash. She smiled at him softly. He pulled her in for a hug.

"Don't worry about me or Carlisle, Emmett. You take all the time you need. We'll be waiting."

He smiled down at her as he pulled away. He chewed on his lip. What if he chose not to come back? It seemed too entirely possible right now, and he didn't like it, but it was what it was. He simply nodded, not willing himself to hurt her.

He hugged Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper, wishing he could stay. But he knew better than anyone that there wasn't enough room for both him and Nessie in this family. He could see the pain in Jasper's eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. His eyes flickered to Alice for a second, and back to Emmett. Emmett just nodded. Jasper was willing to go on another adventure; to relive the glory days with a friend. But he couldn't leave Alice. And Alice wasn't about to leave Nessie.

And Emmett knew that's what it all came down to. Everybody loved Nessie. Jasper did, too, but not so much that he felt the need to stay with the family to be around her. He was the only one in the room that could understand Emmett. Everybody else loved her; thought she was perfect.

Then his eyes flicked over to the girl that stood in the corner, away from everybody else, and he knew form the way she glared at Nessie that he was wrong. Leah hated Nessie even more than he did. Because Nessie had Jacob wrapped around her finger. Jacob was her only chance of getting over Sam right now, and he was Nessie's. Emmett wondered what it was like. Your first love imprints on your best friend. Your second imprints on your enemy.

Bella stepped toward him eagerly, wanting to give him a hug, but he sidestepped her and went to Leah instead. She stared at him as he walked past her to go to _Leah_. And she felt pain. He was choosing Leah over her? Nobody had ever done that before.

As Emmett reached her, he kneeled to her level. Leah looked up at him with confused eyes at first, but the second she saw his eyes, she stopped scowling and sobered her expression. An unspoken language that only they knew. She could see why he was leaving, and admiration for him shown in her glazed eyes. He could see how much she wished she were strong enough to leave Jacob behind, but she couldn't. She was just going to sit behind and watch him with Nessie, forcing herself to hurt.

She reached out and wrapped her arms around him. He did the same for her. He could feel her pain radiating to him, and it made him want to run as far away as he could and never come back. Maybe that's what he would do.

He hated being so confused. He'd always had his family to make the choices for him. Now he needed to start making them on his own again.

As he pulled away, he wiped a lone tear that rolled down her cheek. And with his eyes, he murmured a final _Good luck_, and stood, turning to his family again. They stared at him. He took three large steps over Bella and wrapped her in his arms, not feeling it. But then she spoke. With her words. And she shattered the silence.

"I really don't want you to go. I'm gonna miss you so much." She smiled up at him as she pulled away. He blinked at her, then laughed coldly.

"It is kind of selfish what you did. Keeping Jacob around even thought you knew it was killing him, forcing him to watch you have a baby with his enemy." He looked at Bella. Her hopeful smile had vanished. He let his smile fall slowly, too. "You need to stop being so selfish."

It was like everything in the forest was quiet then. Nothing, nobody moved. They all processed that.

He looked at Edward, not wanting to hug his brother. He simply nodded, hoping that he wouldn't regret his form of good-bye later. Edward just glared and stood as stone.

He felt something on his pant leg then. He looked down and saw Nessie. He kneeled and she put her hands on his face.

_Why are you leaving, Uncle Emmett?_

"Just need to get away, doll."

_Are you going to miss me?_ _I'll miss _you_._

He sighed and removed her hands from his face, shaking his head. "Ness…I can't hurt you, so I'll lie, and leave with that instead. Yes, Nessie, I'll miss you more than anyone in this room. Because I have never been so happy to have such a wonderful niece."

He heard Edward hiss, not liking Emmett's sarcasm toward his innocent daughter. Nessie just beamed at her Uncle Emmett, not understanding that every word was false.

"But…I really hope somebody breaks your heart one day. Because a girl as pretty and smart as you shouldn't have to go through life never feeling any pain. Ask people of our kind, and they'll say being stuck here, like this, never being able to move forward, might be the worst curse there is. But I want you to know that it's not true. Because when you're like this, you can be with the ones you love forever. No, the real curse is never getting hurt. Whether you're human or vampire or werewolf or fairy or mermaid…everybody deserves pain. At least a little bit. I'm hurting right now, but I wouldn't have it any other way, Ness. I haven't hurt like this in almost 50 years. So you shouldn't let anybody here protect you so much that you never hurt. Okay?"

Nessie's smile was gone as she processed what Emmett was telling her. In the past few months of her life, everybody had told her that they'd never let anything hurt her. Why was he telling her that she _should _get hurt?

And just for old times' sake, he pulled her in for a loving, tender hug. This might be the last time he ever saw her. That filled him with sorrow and happiness at the same time. He leaned to her ear and whispered, "You don't understand now, but you will."

After another moment, he straightened, and looked at their faces again. Some were sad, others angry, and others were questioning. They all thought he'd be back by next week.

And maybe he would have, if he were Emmett Cullen. But he was about to reinhibit the body of Emmett McCarty. And Emmett McCarty knew himself a lot better than they knew him.


End file.
